Today at work, I've been working all morning on various things that are important to my position, but of course, when I'm at a standstill and need Carole's help, she has a conference call. not her fault, just poor timing on everything's part.
So at the moment, I'm entertaining myself with my new obsession, thanks to Leah from band, Texts from Last night, the last text you should never have sent. She introduced me to it in Ocean city and I just remembered.
They're a riot. Here are some of my favorites:
"(908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
(908): Fuck I'm high."
"(205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
(1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness...."
"(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
(1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
(530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye."
"(724): And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after."
"(847): I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
(773): Too tired to pretend that I care : ( "
"(504): Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to. (This one sounds like Josh!)
"(305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: "
"(918): I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater. "
"(425): Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility."
"(901): I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
(601): Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
(901): ...are you coming on to me?
This is all well and good for keeping me occupied, however, when your boss is on a conference call ten feet away and you're trying to contain your laughter and not roll on the floor, it's probably not a good idea.
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