Again with the military brat-ness

I've been struggling again lately. I guess it's spawned from spending so much time in Martinsville, around my friends who have pretty much spent their whole lives in that town, or close to it, around the same people, all the time. Some of them hate it, I know, because they claim it's boring and you can't get away with anything in a small town.

I would love it.

Sometimes when I'm talking to Josh, he'll reference thing about the past or inside townie jokes, and I just stare at him, so he has to awkwardly explain the whole thing, etc etc. I don't know the town like they do, not the people, its history or anything of the sort. All I know about it is that great people live there, and given the choice, I'd choose a town like that over my big city/suburbs.

I really wish I had that. I mean, Linthicum and my friends from high school are amazing, but I've only lives there the last what, eight years? Before that I was moving around every two years and starting new. That's all well and good, and I am lucky for the chance and experience, but I would love to consider myself stable. Even now, as I'm on campus all summer, I'm lonely as hell, even more so than any other time in my life. It's partly because there's not many people on campus and that I'm far away from home, but also because I don't really have that network. My extended family lives here, but they still are getting to know me, and getting used to the fact that I do infact live close enough to be considered for get togethers. But my immediate family lives 600 miles away.

I can't win, it seems. I'm not going to say that I'll always lose in this aspect, because I would love to one day start my own family and settle them in a place that makes everyone happy, as much as possible. I'm trying not to put a bad spin on things, because God knows that thigns aren't bad for me. I'm used to these kinds of transitions - they're what I grew up with. However, I'm looking forward to the future for things to settle down for me, maybe once and for all.

Maybe.


IRONICALLY "Settlin'" by Sugarland is playing atm. I swear to God, I didn't plan that.

Damn signs. They're everywhere, and I can't avoid them!